“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails.” – Jimmy Dean
That is one of my favorite quotes. I was in my twenties, when I figured out that things don’t always work the way you want or expect them to. It took a few years of listening to myself complain about how “this wasn’t supposed to happen” before I realized that fact. Once I embraced what “is”, and let go of what “should be”, it forced me to look at plans and problems in a new way.
We all have had instances of (what felt like) failure, but somehow managed to stand back, regroup, and go on to succeed — but perhaps we didn’t recognize it as such, we just swung into action. I call that stepping into our Queen of “Now What?”, instead of the Queen of “Why Me?” It’s that inner resilience that kicks into gear when Plan A goes awry, and Plan B surfaces up from our subconscious. We all have that power, but sometimes it has to be summoned, unlocked, or allowed to appear. With a subtle shift in awareness and attitude, the time between: Plan A fail, and ready with Plan B, can be swift (and relatively painless).
Dealing with the unexpected failure or change in plans is more than just having a Plan B or even C, or D, figured out just in case. The key is how quickly you can make the transition from reacting to a setback, to proactively creating a new solution (even if you’re creating a solution on the fly)!
A setback might be a client whose mortgage did not get final approval at the last minute. The Queen of “Why Me?” would respond with tears. “Why me?”, she would ask the universe. Her attention and wrath would turn to the lender, “how DARE they do this to ME?” An unsuspecting colleague would wander over, seeing her distress, and be treated to twenty minutes of complaining, blaming, and tears. The Queen of “Why Me?” would turn her attention to the clients. Tearfully, she would call her clients to discuss the bad news. As the conversation continues, her questions become more pointed, wondering aloud if maybe they weren’t as forthright about their financials as they claimed, and end the call with choice words about the lender. Maybe the next day, the Queen of “Why Me?” would call the client back sheepishly and ask if they’d like to seek out a new lender, or perhaps she’d call the lender to see if there was a way to salvage the deal.
The Queen of “Now What?” gets the call that her clients will not get final approval for their loan, just days before closing. If her office has a door, she closes it, if not she walks outside to a private spot, and feels the disappointment. She might tear up, swear a little to herself, and just feel the disappointment. Composing herself again, the Queen of “Now What?” shifts into high gear. She starts with calling everyone involved to see what has to happen to save the deal. She talks with colleagues and instead of spending 20 minutes complaining about the situation, she asks if anyone has a creative solution, or has faced something similar. Her call to the client is one of encouragement, soliciting patience and an open mind, as they work to resolve the issue to get the escrow closed on time. The next day, through the instantly proactive approach she has taken, the financing has been reworked and the deal is saved.
The Queen of Why Me?
Asks “why is this happening to me?”
Looks for others to blame.
Wastes valuable time over things she can’t change.
Ignores the things she can change.
Bores others with her woeful tales.
Is too late to react to setbacks.
Never thinks about Plan B.
The Queen of What Now?
Gives herself a few minutes to feel the setback.
Starts crafting alternative strategies right away.
Knows that her response affects the lives of others.
Understands that it’s not personal.
Looks to her network for advice not commiseration.
Can think outside the box to get things done, when others fold up.
Is popular with clients and vendors because of her tenacity and integrity.
There are many things we cannot control. But with practice, we can become the the Queen of “Now What?” by controlling how we respond to the uncontrollable. With this new thinking, you’ll find that many times your Plan B was the better choice all along, it just took a crisis to force a better solution through creative thinking.
Guest Blogger: Diana Hathaway-Timmons
email: Diana@KeepYourZen.com
website: KeepYourZen.com
253.514.8892
