It’s a situation all too familiar to many of us. In trying to ‘stay positive’ about a situation or the day in general, we fall victim to doubt and pessimism. We know that focusing on ‘good’ and ‘releasing it to the universe’ will allow for positive results, but wah lah! The spin begins and what we call our inner dialogue begins to spiral towards the ‘shouldah-couldah-wouldah.’
Today’s business environment has been especially trying for those of us attempting to keep healthy inner dialogues. We’re working harder than ever, we’re taxing our resources and our energy more than before, we’re giving up luxuries and pleasantries to be sure we’re focused and producing and not wasting. And yet, many of us face the end of the day with a dread that we’re not in control of our own situation, that we’re under some greater power’s force and no matter how hard we work, it’s futile until the market turns around.
Our inner dialogue – or the conversations we have with ourselves within our own minds on a constant basis – can seem the fluff of self-help and motivational posters. Indeed, Dr. Phil has amassed a considerable audience who rely on his insight to control their thoughts and realize positive outcomes because of what they think into existence. I know, I know, he’s daytime TV at its finest, but consider this all too common situation and tell me if you think there’s such a thing as an ‘inner dialogue’:
You’re on the hunt for a new job and because you’re marketable and confident, you’re facing the prospect with a sense of optimism and confidence. You know there are hundreds upon thousands of people looking for work, but you’ve worked hard on your resume, a background that will get you in the door, and great personality you’ll use to close the deal. After a week of sending out a dozen resumes a day, you’ve had no contact, no nothing. Your positivity is positively dwindling.
“What’s wrong with my resume?”
“When will I find work?”
“How long can I survive without work?”
“Did I spend too much last night on dinner?”
“Should I cancel the cable and just watch old DVDs until I’m back to work?”
“What if I can’t find work?”
“Am I going to lose my house? My car?”
…and on and on it goes until we’re so exhausted and depressed we see nothing better to do than stop for the day and curl up on the couch in dread. Eventually, we’ll pull ourselves together, but let’s face it. It’s tough. It’s even tougher today than we realize.
So how do we keep our inner dialogue on track? That’s not to say we won’t have a bad day every once in a while, but how do we stay on course, keep our eyes and mind open to possibilities and thereby invite positivity into our lives rather than propel it? Yup, you guessed it. We take a little advice from the know-how’s in the self-help sector who know better.
Bottom line: If you believe you are worthy and strong, you WILL live up to that truth. The challenge is to keep your mind free and clear of those thoughts that present doubt or dread. The challenge is to keep the conversation with yourself positive. If they say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so goes recalibrating and fine tuning your inner dialogue. Says Remez Sasson, a teacher, coach and author whose website SuccessConsciousness.com includes articles and books with practical advice on the topic, “Constant thinking about the same subject influences the subconscious mind, which consequently accepts these thoughts and words and acts on them. Negative inner dialogues bring negative results, and positive inner dialogues bring positive results.” So, to use our previous example, constant thinking that, with effort and enthusiasm, the right employment opportunity will present itself and you’ll be in the right frame of mind to land the position, will affect the subconscious mind, and you’ll begin to act on these thoughts and feelings.
To focus on such a topic, you might assume you need complete quiet and little distraction, but if you can in fact teach yourself to commence this inner dialogue despite the hubbub around you, you’re well on your way to being in control and realizing the wonderful possibilities your life has in store when you feel good and worthy. “Try to be aware of your thoughts. Calmly watch what is going on in your mind, even if after a few moments you may forget to do that. The inner dialogue goes on even when physically you are engaged with something else. It is not so easy to mentally separate oneself from the thoughts and words the flow through the mind,” instructs Sasson.
Just as overcoming a bad habit takes commitment and thoughtfulness, so goes tuning the inner dialogue. Once tuned, however, there’s more of life to be enjoyed, and situations like the current economy will do little to dampen your spirits or hinder you from powering through the day with a sense of hope and worth.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Your article was great! Our inner voice can take us anywhere. This is exactly what a book I’ve been reading also says. Libby Gill’s book YOU UNSTUCK is designed to give you the hope and tools to get you past your sticking points. She discusses overcoming limiting assumptions, negative thoughts and undermining behaviors so you can make real and lasting change. You learn this proven process to clarify a vision for the life you want, simplify the most direct route to get there, then aggressively execute your action plan.
What excellent ideas. Thank you for giving my day a lift
Karen
Just writing about having a positive inner dialogue helped…maybe it’s time to begin anew on journaling.