I studied communications in college and quickly became fascinated with my line of study. Personality styles, body language, group interaction, business and personal strategies – you name it, I’m intrigued by how we communicate with one another. In fact, I often refer to myself as a ‘communication junkie,’ always on the prowl for methods to achieve responsible and effective interaction. I love to talk it, analyze it, learn about it, learn from it. I actually believe in the possibility for all of us to ‘just get along,’ and so I often play the role of mediator when situations get uncomfortable. The mediator in me is just one aspect of my personality type, and knowing it allows me to use it to my advantage.
By understanding your own personality style, as well as the style of the person with whom you are communicating, you just might realize a strategy to propel your sales to a higher level. It’s worth a shot, right? You’re up for ideas on how to improve sales, right? Play along with me for a moment…
There are a large number of methods to determining personality types and a zillion more methods to dissect the data, but for the purpose of this post, I’ll stick with the tried-and-true SOCIAL STYLE test used to determine if I am a Driver, Expressive, Amiable, or Analytical. (While we’re at it, grab a pencil and piece of paper and take the quick test to determine your own style if you don’t know it already.)
Anyone that knows me isn’t surprised that my primary style is dead-even between Driver and Expressive. I like order, I like productivity. But I’m also an open book, using my experiences and thoughts to relate to and teach others. I’m diligent on behalf of clients, and I can be pretty darn persuasive when it comes to closing time.
My tendency as an Amiable and Analytical person is also even as my secondary style, or that style I use in stressful situations. Makes sense. I want harmony and justice. I sometimes get so hung up in the details or trying to be right, I can’t see the big picture. High levels of customer satisfaction are very important to me, and I can’t stand errors in billings or contract details.
That’s enough about me. Here’s a snapshot of each style for your own reference:
DRIVER
- Decisive in action and decision making
- Likes control; dislikes inaction
- Prefers maximum freedom to manage self and others
- Cool, independent, and competitive with others
- Low tolerance for feelings, attitudes, and advice of others
- Works quickly and impressively alone
- Seeks esteem and self-actualization
- Has good administrative skills
EXPRESSIVE
- Spontaneous actions and decisions
- Likes involvement
- Exaggerates and generalizes
- Tends to dream and get others caught up in those dreams
- Jumps from one activity to another
- Works quickly and excitedly with others
- Seeks esteem and group identification
- Has good persuasive skills
AMIABLE
- Slow in making decisions or taking actions
- Likes close, personal relationships
- Dislikes interpersonal conflict
- Supports and actively listens to others
- Weak in goal setting and self-direction
- Seeks security and identification with a group
- Has good counseling and listening skills
ANALYTICAL
- Cautious in decisions and action
- Likes organization and structure
- Dislikes involvement
- Asks specific questions
- Prefers objective, task-oriented, intellectual work
- Wants to be right, so collects much data
- Works slowly, precisely, and alone
- Seeks security and self-actualization
- Has good problem-solving skills
Knowing what makes us tick – including the aspects of each style – allows us to then be proactive in communicating with others. We have to just look for a certain set of clues – manner of speech, use of time, etc. – to evaluate another person’s style, and wah lah! we’re at least on the right track to understand and appreciate another’s viewpoint, his/her priorities and the pace at which s/he moves and makes decisions. They call this ‘style-flexing,’ and the knack for adjusting to another person’s style can be the difference between a pointless or healthy conversation – even a closed sale!
Consider this grid:
*Assertiveness is the degree to which a person attempts to control situations or the thoughts and actions of others. Responsiveness is the readiness with which a person outwardly displays emotions or feelings and develops relationships. Wikipedia gives a decent background on these concepts.
In human interaction, we are natural reciprocators. That is, we have a tendency to give back those emotions that are being given to us. In a responsible communication, if I work toward understanding and adjusting to your style, you’ll naturally adjust to mine. I can pick up on your pace and priorities simply by looking around your office, listening to indication of feelings or analytics, and even the tone of your voice, your arms, and the height at which you raise your hands, if at all. (There’s an entire new lesson in mirroring and modeling and neurolinguistic programming that I could insert here, but I sense an end to our attention span in sight and will wait for a future post…how responsible of me!)
Once I have an inkling of your style, I can then adjust my own. In a selling situation, I’m aware of and can address what you’ll get hung up on (details, timeline, possibilities, etc.) before we sign a contract. In a customer service situation, I’m able to work towards managing expectations before you even know you have them.
Here’s a final summary to take note of in trying to maximize your own ability to style-flex:
If it’s been a while and you need a refresher or are intrigued with the topic, try another method of determining your personality via the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. It’ll no doubt spin you off into another universe of fascinating reading. Please come back, though. I enjoy communicating with you.
